Who is She?

detail-of-the-head-of-the-virgin-from-the-virgin-of-the-rocks-by-leonardo-da-vinciFor your Mother bore you, keeps life within you. She has given you her body, and none but she heals you. Happy is he who loves his Mother and lies quietly in her bosom. For your Mother loves you, even when you turn away from her. And how much more shall she love you, if you turn to her again? I tell you truly, very great is her love, greater than the greatest of mountains, deeper than the deepest seas.

~ The Essene Gospel of Peace

 Sometimes words escape me. Sometimes I don’t know how to put words to how I feel about my divine mother, the goddess. It inspires me to read what others have to say about her. Who she is and why she disappeared from society, religion, our lives.

Below is a video about the goddess as well as a link to an article that inspires me deeply.

Reestablishing the Feminine in Godhead – The Role of the Mother Goddess in Spirituality 








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My First Astral Projection (Out of Body Experience)

1463091_599907573391782_537490665_nI remember my first astral projection very well. It was a few days before Christmas. I was grieving the loss of my dad.

I went to bed in the middle of the day.

I remember “waking up” to a loud and very strange noise. I remember thinking of a train, though that doesn’t quite describe it. I was on my side when I looked at my hand, expecting to see it shaking, only to see it lying there perfectly still, perfectly normal.

The sound went away within a few moments and called out to my brother and his wife who were in the living room, at the end of the hallway. I tried to lift my head from my pillow, but it felt incredibly heavy. I could barely move it. Feeling scared, I called out for help a second time.

Suddenly I found that I could move again, and got up.

I remember hearing voices, as though someone had turned on the radio. I walked out of my bedroom and down the hallway. Just as I reached the living room door, I woke up in my bed.

This experience, though a little frightening, excited me more than anything else. I had done it! I had actually had an out of body experience! I couldn’t wait to try it again.

Later I learned that feeling paralyzed was a normal process of astral projection. That it happens when the body falls asleep and the ability to move hasn’t yet transferred to the astral body. The best thing to do is to relax and wait for it to pass.

Astral projection  changed the way I saw life. I now knew there was so much more than what the eye can see. There was magic, real true magic. And I knew that I could exist outside my physical body, and that there was a whole other world waiting to be explored.

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How Astral Projection Changed Everything



The night always felt special. Important. She had her crystals around her, a candle was lit. Everything was silent, the world asleep. She did not want to waste this time. This time when she could walk between worlds. 

If there is one thing that has turned my life view upside down, it’s astral projection.

I was drawn to the magic of it. I wondered if it was even possible, if it was too good to be true. I had long felt a sense of loss at the fact that magic only existed in stories and on television. But I still held a small hope that it was indeed possible to visit other dimensions.

I bought books on the subject. I read everything I could online, joined forums and asked questions in chat rooms.

One girl said she had astral projected into a field of violets. I was in love with those words, the idea of experiencing something so magical.

I also began practicing the techniques I picked up from reading about astral travel, and tried them out every day.

I want to mention that I had very recently lost my dad and I wanted to know where people go when they die. It seemed so strange that someone  whom I had loved more than anyone else and had been such a huge part of my life, was suddenly gone. He had to have gone somewhere. I wanted to know where that somewhere was.

Every day after school I would take a nap. I would concentrate on a small angel on my nightstand, one a kind lady had given me with the words ‘Hope’ written on it. I would try to remember it in as much detail as possible with my eyes closed.

I began to notice odd things while lying in bed. Sometimes I’d feel my hands move, even though I could at the same time feel them lying perfectly still. I realized I had to be feeling my astral hands as they felt very light and floaty.

One time I could see my room even though my eyes were closed.

Continue to My First Astral Experience. 

Here is a stunning video about astral projection. Myself and some friends of mine share our experiences. I’m the blond girl in green with an accent. Thank you Total View for making this.











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Autumn Colors

1045196_597915000238913_1557295166_nAutumn Colors. So beautiful. I look out the window and I’m instantly moved. Gold. Red. Yellow. Green. Everything is alight and on fire. The mountains beyond the lake is dotted with trees of gold.

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Dancing a Prayer

le_ravissement_de_psyche-largeToday I danced. Danced for the Goddess.

I always liked the idea of worship through dance. I have a secret wish to dance around a bonfire, beneath the stars, in a forest.

I felt closer to my divine mother as I danced. I moved gently, going with what felt good. It felt like a prayer. As I moved I connected with my heart and everything I did was out of longing to be close to her.

She was a priestess in worship of the goddess, and as she worked in the temple she was conscious of every movement her body made. Everything she did was a prayer to the goddess. As she went to the lake for water she did it in the magic awareness of the divine mother. Love was at her finger tips as she rearranged the flowers….



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calinerie-largeShe’s sitting inside by candlelight. Outside the world is covered in mist. Everything is silent. Still. There is only the steady hum from the fridge, a car passing by now and then. The world is waking up. Slowly, then faster.

She feels tired yet is unwilling to go back to sleep. The day has already begun and she don’t want to miss out on anything.

A fly sits on the window. A pink candle is burning next to her, its flame almost unmoving. She feels hungry. Soon she’ll make breakfast.

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The Forest

windswept-large You walk into a forest. Here you can let your spirit rest. 

There are no sounds but those of nature. You can feel yourself breathing. Slowly. The sun is on your face and in your hair. The air is cool.

Everything is different shades of green. The sun filters through the trees and lights everything up.

You feel your feet on the ground. Your skin tingle. The power of the earth goes through you, making everything flow again. You feel like crying. You want to just be but duty and guilt gets in the way.

But in the forest everything just is. There are no worries here. Everything is right.

You wonder why you don’t come more often. Will you go tomorrow? The day after? What if all this beauty passes and you’re not here to see it?

A crow can be heard in the distance. Fading. Then silence. A small stream trickles downs rocks and green moss. The ground is dry. It hasn’t rained for over a week. Its the last days of summer. Autumn is in the air. The forest is more silent than it used to be. The birds are leaving.

There is a small breeze. You feel it on your hands and feet, your face and in your hair. The treetops move gently against a white and blue sky.

A lonely bird sings sweetly. There. Its call is answered.

In this silence, can you feel what you truly feel? Do you know what you need? What worries you? Do you know how to let it go?

With you feet on the ground you can feel the healing energy of the earth. You can feel it in the air, in the beauty of color, in the dirt trail that winds between the trees.

You are loved. You are protected. 

A small voice whispers it to you. You feel hard, not knowing how to embrace this healing truth. Somewhere deep inside you feel like crying again. How do you open up to the unconditional love of the divine mother? She seem so distant at times. Is she even there?

Then, you almost see her. Walking between the trees. Silently. In a long, glittering gown. Your beautiful goddess.

I am here. I will never leave you. Allow the tears to come if you can. I embrace you with my love, my beautiful daughter. 

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As I sit by the lake

564163_493863124022370_1515179141_nI’m sitting on a large flat rock by the water. It’s windy and I feel cold, though the sun still has some warmth in it. I should have brought my jacket.

The wind moves over the water and through my hair, making my skirt flap around my ankles.

The water is alive, singing, bubbling with noise. Small waves hitting the stony shore. I love the sound. It calms something within me, and brings me out of my little box of thoughts and worries.

The wind is increasing. I look up at the lake. Dark blue waters are  glittering silver in the sunlight. I know it’s pitch black beneath the surface.

I feel a little nervous. Is what I write good enough?

I turn my head towards the sky. A beautiful blue sky with dots of white clouds, some quite thin, like a streak of paint.

I had a cold yesterday. I know I shouldn’t be outside without a jacket. But the sun made it seem so warm. I forgot about the wind.

I feel autumn in the air, though summer is still holding on. The struggle between the two fascinates me. There is something about autumn that makes me want to write.

I see a plane way up in the sky. I can’t even hear it. It leaves a long white line behind it, breaking up the blue.

I hear cars on the road behind me. A rush of noise followed by a slow silence.

My feet are bare against the warm stone. I feel it’s time to go.


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Evening reflections

604162_493610794021461_1203230310_nThe last days of summer. The light is turning golden, a new chill in the air.

I’m sitting on the my jacket, my bare feet touching the ground. A soft breeze makes the grass move, sway gently. The trees around me whisper something.

My feet tingle, like they always do when they’re naked against the earth. I feel a little thirsty, but I don’t want to move.

A small spider wiggles on a strand of grass, then stops. I wish it would leave. It’s ugly, a pale yellow brown with long, disgusting feet. It wriggles closer. I tense, move my legs slightly, but I’m still unwilling to get up.

I use my pen to make it flying, and end up losing the cap. The spider disappear. I have no idea where it is now. I think I made things worse.

I’m sitting in someone else’s back yard. The old house looks empty. I don’t think the old lady who owns it is here right now. She only visits during the summer. She has roses. As I passed them the air was filled with their scent. I wish I could take their sweetness with me into winter.

I feel worried. Worried that time is passing. Worried that I’m not doing enough, or doing them well enough.

I feel tense. I want to told onto time, control it. I’m not sure how to flow with life.

There is a bird in the bush next to me. Another answers from the forest behind me. The shadows are growing longer. Everything is so beautiful.

My mind wanders. Worries again. Have I done enough? Should I be doing something else right now?

I dreamt about dying last night. I really hope I go somewhere nice when I die.

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